In these last days of the year I need ‘being’ and enjoy the present with the people I love. In the peace and quiet I look back and I am grateful. Grateful for all encounters, for all connections, for all experiences of last year. I am grateful for everyone who has appeared on my path, for everyone who has opened up and for everything that we were allowed to share with each other. Grateful for the work I am allowed to do and grateful that I am here. Thankful that I am able to get the positive out of everything. And thankful for my friends, family and you!
This time of year I am engrossed in making lists (oh yes I do love lists!). My planner is now filled with lists, lists of what I am grateful for, lists of what I would do different, lists of my big dreams, lists of my aspirations, etc. Now I don’t have time to share these all and some of them are still private and will manifest when the time is right. But when you make lists of what you want to experience in 2018, make sure you also write down why you want that and how you will achieve this state.
The first step to setting new intentions is reflection as we learn from the past. Celebrate your happy times and study your losses as they teach you so much on how to proceed in order not to repeat this same experience.
Here is a little process for you to get your inspiration going.
Stare into a candle
1 Find a place where you feel comfortable
Have pen and paper ready
Sit down, light a candle, and turn off all the lights.
2 Focus your eyes on the flame for a while
By looking at this one point, your thoughts come to rest so that you can focus your attention inside. Take a deep breath as you watch how the flame dances with time.
3 While your eyes are still on the flame, think back to the last weeks and months
Let your highlights and lows of 2017 pass through your thoughts. Without value judgment, and without meaning to the memories that come up. Let your film of memories continue until you feel that you have seen enough of the year to continue.
4 Slowly remove your gaze from the candle and look in the mirror
Get the less pleasant memories of the year to mind – your moments of regret, your mistakes and your missed opportunities and write down all the things you did not achieve or that you didn’t want to do or were disappointed about, things that made you sad or angry. List all these things. Rant about all the things and people that disappointed you. You will run across self-judgement, write down what you are judging yourself about for. Rant all you want. Get it all on to the paper, let yourself go. Go on and on. Push yourself to let it all out. Then go to your list and for every thing on the list see if there is a lesson there, something you have gotten out of it. Write those lessons down too. And when you are done get your list and whisper, “I forgive the darkness and continue in the light” to yourself. If you like it, you can repeat the mantra a number of times. Look again at the candle as a symbol of the bright new opportunities that will come your way. If you feel you need to write something down in your journal for later, this is a good time. And then in closing get the list with all the negative things you could find no lessons in and burn this list.
What made me happy this year
and I want to create more of in 2018
These photographs are just a selection of an abundance of memories and connections – so please do not feel like I forgot you!! I haven’t!! I see you!
Spending time with friends. Your support has kept me going in these challenging years. I applaud you for being patient with me and for holding me balanced and with two feet on the ground. I thank you for you love, your inspiration, your joy, your vulnerability and for choosing to spend time with me. I am mega grateful for you! Thank you.
Spending time with family. I am so happy I am now more in touch with my family again. This and the contact with my brother is one good thing that resulted from the passing of my parents.
Remembering days such as the annual family picknick, the visit to Avifauna, a treat from Uncle Kees, day to Rotterdam with Ton and Bert, weekend visit Nijmegen Dick and Tea and the day out in Leiden.
Meeting new people – I have met so many beautiful people this year. I am so very grateful and hopeful. Together we can heal this world.
The memorial of my Father – do not wish to repeat this – but I am grateful for having been able to give him a proper goodbye with the support of friends and family – it was heart warming and healing.
Doing Tarot readings for myself and others. I am so grateful for all the clear insights the cards give me. I am ever amazed by their clarity and guidance. I will continue and expand this practice.
Becoming a SoulCollage® facilitator, providing space for people to make insightful cards and also going on the journey with these cards myself. So so profound. I will expand this in 2018.
My Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice. Without it I would have been…well one lost mess. Life saver. Just being, no doing = bliss! Feel the force baby! Life force and clarity!
Becoming a Nineminmax® Business Yoga Specialist and giving Biz-y Yoga lessons at the office. So grateful to be given this space to teach twice weekly and help people find a half hour of peace in a busy workday. I will make more videos to share online as this has been requested.
Feeling connected and clear about my life on this planet (this has been different in the past – I am no longer homesick!) – and that I do belong and I am worthy!
Growing in my day job, investing in studies and taking on more responsibilities – I am aiming for a promotion in the coming year, I am ready.
Weekends away with friends – connection and Wanderlust combined!!
Drawing and painting – yes much more of that please! I am making time and space for more art in 2018! This makes my heart sing.
Taking the year long Pull Pen Paint journey (I also enrolled in this year’s class!!)
Exploring my neighborhood, Amsterdam, The Netherlands, the world. Feeding my Wanderlust – such as the Maya trip to Guatemala, Mexico and Belize and my trip to Switzerland, France and Belgium. And of course Hong Kong!
Amsterdam – my daily walk to and from work through a beautiful part of the city center. We are moving offices the coming year, so this will be no more. 🙁
Makes me even more grateful for this experience. And a part of me still hopes we do not have to move…
Connecting with my colleagues.
Days spent outside in nature (and yes more of that in 2018).
Visiting inspiring musea.
Time spent on my balcony and chilling at home. I am intending to spend less time being a hermit in 2018, but very grateful for all the lovely days at home, reconnecting and revitalizing. I love being at home and really feeling at home. I am grateful for my appartement, it is small and aging (just like me, we are the same age, my house and I lolz) but it is cute, not too big and colorful…haha also just like me!… I can just sit here and be happy.
My neighbors – I have lived here for a long time (I think 24 years) – life in an appartement building can be very solitary and anonymous. But lately my neighbors have treated me with with such kindness, like helping me fix things in my appartement, bringing me food and coming by for a chat. I intend to get more involved in meetings and events in the complex the coming year. Seek more connection nearby.
dinner made by my neighbor
Making my own creams, deodorants and serums – no more junk and saves a bunch of money — and is fun to do!
Nourishing my body with wonderful organic food and drinks
Finally gaining some weight back – I don’t want to create lots more in 2018 – just a little until I am back on my former weight and my hormones balance again.
Picknicks – combines my favorite things; friends, the park and food 😉
The give-aways I have won – the trip to Hong Kong with Karina being the most amazing one!! I still don’t believe it 😉
Spending my birthday in Hong Kong with my BFF
Wonderful and dedicated clients – I am so grateful for you and I am so inspired and in awe with all the work you are doing and the progress you are making. So so proud of you.
sweet present from one of my dear ‘clients’
More and more people are waking up from their programmed slumber.
Unicorns! I love Unicorns and their much needed energy is present abundantly at this time. Unicorns everywhere!
Reading inspiring books. I read about a book a week. Love it!
Seeking answers to all the questions I have about our existence – to find out what has been hidden – I love to expand my mind and connect dots. Lots of hours spent going down the rabbit hole.
Doing Spell Work – want to dedicate myself to the Craft again. This has gone by the wayside over the years, but I feel a deep calling to step into my Witchiness. Ready to come out and use my magic wand.
Treating myself – like to a bouquet of flowers, a massage or a spa/sauna day or a meal in a great restaurant. I deserve to treat myself. No shame in that.
Seeing films at the cinema. Still love the magic of the big screen.
Attending inspiring workshop – but no matter how much I enjoying workshops, I am doing less of that in 2018 – as I feel it is time to delve deeper into my own practice. Not to seek more information and teachings outside myself. It’s very inspiring though. I am very curious and love to learn, but my path now is to take time and delve deeper in my inner work. The only thing I am enrolling in is the Witch’s path. I have enrolled in a magical group and will answer the call that has been within me for all my life. And I have enrolled in Pull Pen Paint 2018 to make art, journal and play with the tarot with likeminded souls.
Sweet supportive cards and presents from people
Music and concerts.
Connecting to you via this blog -I love receiving feedback and sharing my inspiration with you. However there is not much interaction on this blog, so I feel this is not my best way to serve and share. Also writing takes a lot of time (even if I do love it) and as I am creating more time for other things to expand in my life, I will blog less in 2018 and I will find other ways to share.
I forgive the darkness and continue in the light
What didn’t make me happy and I do not wish to repeat
- Working myself to the edge of a burn out – time for more mindful work, less pushing and more playing.
- Working more than playing – it is time to play and live more – at least one day a week of no work and no more late night’s working – max 10 hours of screen time on working days.
- Spreading myself too thin over way too many projects – need to cut down on the amount of projects I am working on, more focus and more depth and less stress.
- Not making more time for friends – all work no play. See above.
- Reacting instead of responding. When stressed I don’t take enough time to be and respond. In stress I react without reflection or contemplation.
- Judging others and myself – still do this every now and then, not often, but it happens. More mindfulness is needed (at times, again especially in busy times of stress).
- Letting fear get the better of me and keep me from doing things I long for. Think less and jump when it feels right.
- Becoming a hermit – I did like my own company a bit too much the past year.
- Eating meat – when I eat meat I feel guilty and stressed. I do not like this habit. Because it has become an easy habit when eating out. I have been a vegetarian from age 16 ’till somewhere in my 30s and started eating meat again because I was depleted in vitamine B12 and Iron. I do use supplements but my body doesn’t use these properly. I hardly eat any meat at the moment, only when I eat at other people’s house or parties, when traveling and there are no alternatives. I will stop eating meat in 2018 and see how I feel. Also less dairy. I already cut back dairy a lot, but I still enjoy a cappucinno with milk (when there is no alternative available) every now and then. But the cheese oh the cheese. Don’t think I want to part with this guilty pleasure just yet. Same goes for the occasional glass of wine and coffee. Guilty pleasures, I forgive myself for, and will probably not let go of in 2018. I might though …we’ll see.
- And finally doing things out of need to be seen or heal subconscious guilt – in 2018 I will share from a space of abundance and inspiration. My word for 2018 is Worthiness, but more on that in the next blogpost.
I am grateful for all that I have created in my life.
Just sit still for a moment …….. and feel …… what are you thankful for?
Over the next few weeks I’m focusing on friends, and creating space for myself and my business to elvolve next year. I want to take things more slow in the future. Stop whizzing by, and really experiencing life. So less rushing, more living. I don’t have to work so hard to prove my worth.
Happy New Year! Happy New You!
Thank you for sharing this year with me!